Dad, Where do I begin there are so many things I want to tell you, but I will never get the chance. The most important one is that I Love You, so so much. You were the best Dad a girl could wish for. We had many fabulous holidays together, so many memories. You were hard working and this is one thing that upsets me because you never got chance to enjoy your retirement. One memory sticks in my mind is when I went away with you for a couple of nights down to head office in Abingdon. You took me to meet all your work colleagues and I could tell you were proud to say this is my daughter. My Shelly you would say. I am just thankful that you were there on my wedding day. I know that you were happy for me and Barry as the words you said to me in the Limo on the way to church will stay in my heart forever. As will your cheeky grin as we cracked open the champagne. I wanted to phone you yesterday to tell you we had exchanged contracts on the new house. We get the keys on Monday, this hurts like crazy. I know in the club you were saying to the boys. Don't forget Shell & Barry's housewarming, I really wish you could be there. Everyone keeps saying you will be , but its just not the same. I know how much you would want me to look after mum. She was your soul mate, she misses you like crazy too. I want you to know that I will look after her for you. I know she wants to be independent but we are all here to help her with anything she needs. Barry is heartbroken too, I know this because I have been with him 16 years and it is the first time I have ever seen him cry. I hope you know how many people loved you. I wish you could see all the cards and flowers and lovely messages we have had. Friday is going to be the worst day of my life. I am not ready to say goodbye. If I was strong enough I would be reading this out at your funeral, but I know that I wont be able to say it and I don't want to let you down. There is one thing for certain. This has made me realise that life is so precious. You would always say life isn't a rehearsal , your a long time dead. I never believed I would lose you. If I could have 5 more minutes with you, just to see your cheeky smile, to hold you close and tell you that I love you, to say goodbye. I know that you didn't leave in pain. I am glad that you were not on your own. Although he is hurting for wishing he could do more, I am glad you was with my Barry and deep down he knows he did everything he could, and I know that he loves you too. None of us are looking forward to Christmas now it wont be the same without you here, but I know that you would want us to celebrate without you. It will be hard but I promise that we will do our very best. Dad I don't want to end this letter, it means I have to say goodbye. You will be in my heart forever and I will always be your little girl. Sweet Dreams , I Love You, until we meet again wait for me Good Night, God Bless Shelly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx